Forgiveness is strenuous and challenging. Faced with the daunting task of forgiving some terrible offense, many have tried to redefine what it means to forgive, in hopes that they do not feel obligated to fully forgive. Do not accept these shifting standards of forgiveness. Scripture tasks us with forgiving those who wrong us, as God has forgiven us.
How has God forgiven you? Would you be satisfied with God partially forgiving you? Certainly not! We know how desperately we need full forgiveness for when we stand before God in judgement. Therefore, we must strive for complete forgiveness when others wrong us.
I think it helps to look at forgiveness as a journey, with a starting location and an arrival destination. It’s easy to forgive a small offense, such as an oversight or miscommunication. If it was a journey, it may just be a few steps till you arrive at full forgiveness. You will almost joyfully take those few steps to put it behind you and move on.
However, what if the offense is not small. What if you are dealing with a grievous, life-shaking betrayal by a person you trusted to love and cherish you? That journey is not just a few steps, is it? No, of course it isn’t. To find forgiveness in a situation like this, it takes what might feel like an unguided epic voyage by sea if you ever want to reach that destination of true forgiveness; a journey filled with storms and rough waves. There will be times when you find yourself off course and must correct your heading.
This is where many give up on forgiveness. They sail out of port with good intentions but strand themselves on the rough cold sea of bitterness and victimhood. You must not give up here. If you give up here, you allow that betrayal to take too much of you. You allow it to define you in ways that it should never have the power or right to do so. You must get back at the wheel and pilot the ship of forgiveness. Prayerfully correct your course until one day you find yourself in the warm glassy waters of the harbor of your destination, by the grace of God, stronger than you ever were before.
When you arrive at your destination, you will notice that this process of forgiveness was more about your relationship with God than it ever was about your relationship with the other person who wronged you. Whatever damage done to an earthly relationship caused by betrayal will pale next to the connection made with our eternal Father by trusting him through the process of forgiveness.
I would like to add. Some might ask, why is forgiveness such a process for us if God forgives quickly? I think there is an assumption made that because God forgives us quickly, it must mean that his forgiveness is easy. If you feel that way, don’t forget the cross of Christ. God paid a terrible gut-wrenching price so that we might have full forgiveness. The staggering thing to consider is that God is omniscient, he knew exactly what he was doing. In other words, he looks at you and maintains that the price was worth it; you were worth it. That is your value, beyond comprehension in the eyes of God. Let his love fuel your journey of forgiveness. You are like your heavenly father when you forgive those who do not deserve it.
From Your Fellow Servant,
Steven McFadden
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