Scripture says wives are to submit to their husbands and husbands are to lead and love their wives. God’s structure of marriage is not very popular in our culture. Are we surprised by that; that the world would disagree with God’s vision and plan? I don’t expect the world to accept this structure because I know the world doesn’t understand it. The world doesn’t understand God. I suspect many Christians do not truly grasp this either and mope along feeling somewhat shamed by the current culture regarding God’s plan for marriage.
This has a lot to do with a misunderstanding of what it means to “lead, love and submit.” When people think of these concepts through the eyes of our modern feminist influenced culture, they see these roles as the wife who is being dominated and the husband who is dominating. They paint God out as a man who is putting the woman in her rightful place of subjection, and men in their rightful place of dominance. While it is true that men and women are different, and the husbands’ and wives’ roles are specified, God did not plan it or envision it the way culture and many Christians suspect. The big misunderstanding is centered around the job of the husbands.
In Ephesians, Paul likens the structure of marriage to the structure of the church and Christ. That husbands are to lead as Christ leads his Church. That husbands are to love as Christ loves. He also points out the concept of oneness in marriage. Oneness means that while there are separate roles you are inseparable as a person. We could write a whole book about the significance of that point, but I want to zero in on how the husbands should view their leadership responsibilities. If you are to lead like Christ, then you need to answer the question, how does Christ lead?
Luke 22:25-27
24 A dispute also arose among them, as to which of them was to be regarded as the greatest. 25 And he said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors. 26 But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. 27 For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.
Jesus corrects his disciples’ understanding of what it means to lead in the kingdom. Their view of leadership has been tainted by the world. Jesus says to lead in the kingdom is to serve. He then appeals to his example of leadership. Jesus is King of kings and Lord of lords, yet he points out that he is serving. In Luke, this conversation is recorded as happening at the Passover meal when Jesus instituted the Lord’s supper. Meaning, Jesus, Lord of all, is pointing to the fact that he just washed their feet and is preparing to go to the cross and die for them. This is the attitude Christ lead with, and we husbands are to lead and love our wives like Christ leads and loves; radically, sacrificially, with the heart of a servant. This is a picture of meekness. When we understand our roles as husbands and wives correctly, we understand we both are called to approach our roles with extraordinary meekness.
From Your Fellow Servant,
Steven McFadden
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